Friday, August 13, 2010

Mind the Gap......In Your Teeth

If a gap in your teeth is an unfortunate accessory of your DNA, first you must realize that we non-gap-wearing patrons are not sympathetic to your lack of dental perfection. We may, however, be persuaded to the gap blindness you deserve if you can follow the rules of our gap tolerance.

All it takes is one simple phrase. You may have heard it while in the London Underground or seen it on a graphic tee. But, do not be fooled. It applies to you and can lead to your Gap Blindness success. So...

Mind the Gap.

What does this mean to all of the extra-space-in-the-teeth bearers? Well, here are your guidelines. Write them down. Memorize them, and hold them dear to your heart.

Don't spit through your gap. That's gross.

Always carry a mirror and a toothpick. That big piece of spinach hanging out of your gap after dinner is not attractive. Be prepared to take action.

Whistling through your gap is not a cute trick. It actually creeps me out.

And...finally...if you can fit an 18-wheeler through the space in your teeth, go to the damn dentist. Use your tax return or something! Ask for donations. You gotta get that fixed.

Now that you fully understand the rules, wear your gap with pride (as long as it is not ridiculously humongous...then you should get it fixed) because it can give you a charming uniqueness. And uniqueness is...well...awesome!

Thank you for your time. You've been a great audience!

Jenna Christopher